A Christmas p.s.
It being Christmas Day, I have a postscript — actually, a wish — for after the holidays: How I wish we gave gifts not when we’re supposed to but when we’re not supposed to.
I was reminded of this again in an indirect way when we visited a local nursing home Sunday for our weekly music program. We have a family band, although the word ‘band’ is a bit of a stretch. We’re two guitars — my wife and I — an assortment of strings played by her father, a retired Indiana farmer, and harmony singing by her mother, who also emcees our little performances (I gave a little history in an entry in May).
What reminded me of my wish is that, surprisingly enough, the nursing home residents seemed fairly festive.
We’ve been playing at nursing homes for about 15 years, and one of the things I learned early on was that Christmas in a nursing home is not particularly cheerful.
I can only guess why. Maybe it’s that many nursing home residents do not live in the present, choosing instead to go back to other, happier times. But when the present becomes familiar again — a Christmas carol will do it — they’re reminded of the times they’re in.
Still, the old tunes we play each week during the rest of the year don’t have the same effect. Then the residents happily sing along. Maybe they’re allowing us to play into their alternate realities as long as we’re not being too intrusive.
I do know that Christmas music is a strong stimulus, too strong for many of the residents, and they can be really morose on the holidays. So this year, we played mostly old tunes, with a carol or two at the end.
It was a relief to see mostly happy faces this year. And to wish they could remain happy from January to December.
Non-holiday gifts help. They don’t have to be big. Just little ones. Like a note. Or a visit. Or . . . well, you probably know better than I.
– Sid Leavitt
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December 25, 2007 at 6:13 pm
i remember somebody said that the nursing home is just a waiting place to die.
it is a sad thing to say, but there is so much truth in it.
you’re a blessing, because you make other people happy…
December 25, 2007 at 6:55 pm
I hope this doesn’t sound like false humility, but we get at least as much pleasure from our visits as the nursing home residents do.
As I said in our entry in May, I originally started playing in nursing homes because I needed guitar practice and a captive audience. I suppose I could rephrase that to make it sound more altruistic, but that’s basically the gist of it. My wife and her parents, of course, were being altruists, but I was in it for myself.
Then I got to know people at the nursing homes and started becoming attached to them. It also helps that I am now 15 years older than when we started. (As are we all. The average age of our four-member band is now 75.) I guess I’m beginning to look at the residents as contemporaries.
By the way, New York collects a lot of taxes, but at least some of them are put to good use in the state’s nursing homes. I’ve seen about a dozen of them here, and for the most part, they’re comfortable, pleasant and run by people who really seem to care.
I think people from other states might be glad to pay higher taxes to get services like this.